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A hilarious comedy could be written consisting entirely of serious and good philosophical works.

— May-Tzu


Conjecture: There are multiple if not an infinite number of mathematically self-consistent descriptions of physical reality at the extreme ends of scale (cosmology and quantum events), a subset of which which may have varying degrees of predictive utility. It cannot be assumed a priori that only one self-consistent mathematical model of physical reality (which can be processed by the brains of homo sapiens and their AI artifacts) can isomorphically map physical reality at all levels of scale. That is, one complete self-consistent mathematical description of physical reality may not exist even in principle to be discovered. The limits of cosmological and quantum modeling may necessarily be only analogous to an neurologically species-limited art form, the medium of which is pure mathematics, rather than one complete, self-consistent description of physical reality. Our physical theories at the extreme ends of scale approach analogs of mathematical paintings of the landscape or spacetimescape of the universe, rather than the theoretical models of classical physics.


There is no fundamental ordered physical reality. So-called “constants” are actually variables with a very slow rate of change at the level of scale of the “observer.” As in an infinite n-dimensional matrix of random numbers, every possible ordered series of numbers occurs somewhere by chance alone, there are pockets or subsets of apparent order within the multiverse at certain levels of scale. “Physical laws” and “observers,” themselves, are merely sampling errors within random subsets of data values at a particular level of spatio-temporal scale. This hypothesis cannot be disconfirmed within a finite interval of “time” at any level of scale. Propositions within “physics” cannot ultimately be disconfirmed, as there are propositions within a mathematical system that are true but cannot be proven, a la Kurt Goedel. Cosmos is chaos.

“A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.” — Ludwig Wittgenstein


Traditionally when a successful conformist retired, he became an existentialist.


The Laputans found composing plays to be far too practical and randomness, itself, excessively ordered. Yet they accomplished the most complex tasks by seemingly random actions, which depended upon a perfect utilization of the butterfly effect.

Before the concept of order and the measurement of time, it was not uncommon for Laputans to inhabit mirages, in order to better appreciate the more substantial world of illusion and shadow. Some dwelled invisibly in ancient cities which had long since vanished from the Earth.

Among the Laputans it was not considered true that a house built of metaphors was not as strong as a house built of straw. It had been said since time immemorial that a house built of metaphors was stronger than a house built of bricks and mortar. It’s not known if they meant this metaphorically or literally.

But it has been noted that the Laputans left no relics or artifacts of their past glory and were said to have had no shadows. This absence of evidence for the existence of the Laputans is, in fact, the most enduring monument to the greatness of their achievements.

The Laputan space program attempted to determine the location of their ancestral planet, Earth. There was no consensus among even the most pragmatic on how to determine which direction was “down,” in order to reach the Earth. But, as an expression of unity, their plan was to launch exploratory spacecraft at more or less random times from the island of Laputa in all possible directions. At some later time the astronauts planned to regroup somewhere and then construct a complete model of the cosmos on a larger scale than the cosmos itself, in order to gain precision.

Among the Laputans endurance breathing was considered a lifetime sport and one that they were truly motivated to play, usually on highly competitive endurance breathing teams, but sometimes in solitude among the clouds. The games were, of course, televised 24 -7.

But often the uninitiated had difficulty differentiating sportsmen from spectators. The games continued until everyone within range of camera deceased either of old age or from the intense excitement of the sports competition itself.

Viruses and bacteria were honored as homeless beings seeking food and shelter and as great spiritual teachers. The Laputans abhorred any use of force by the government or by Nature, herself, and spent their days from time immemorial attempting to abolish the forces of gravitation and electromagnetism, seeking to substitute a susurration of tautologies.

Among the Laputans it is not uncommon to absentmindedly lose something one is holding in one’s hand, but the reason is different. When lost in thought, Laputans will generally still remember that the lost object is in their own hand, but be unable to recall the location of their hand or physical body, itself, in relation to them.

In the past it was not uncommon to come upon large caravans of the most grounded and practical Laputans, who were on quests to find their own body again. Traditionally many Laputans have spent their entire lives fruitlessly attempting to re-locate their bodies, often not seen since childhood, only in order to have access to something quite ordinary that they were holding in their hand.

But now post-modern Laputans use Google Earth for this. Sitting at their computers for unending days without rest, Laputans will scan high-resolution images of the Earth’s surface in search for their own body. Sometimes a passersby may hear a Laputan shout joyfully, “Eureka! There I am sitting at a computer!”


According to the One-and-Only-One True Revelation, the entire surface of the Earth, and even below the surface to a considerable depth, was given forever by the Landlord to the Chosen Bacteria. Even today, unnoticed amidst the Arabs and the Jews, bacteria continue to live quietly and worship within their Holy Land, according to their ancient traditions. Only the Chosen Bacteria received a Revelation of pure signal with no noise.


From now on I’m going to do a Security Check
between each of my so-called thoughts,
to verify that they’re really mine.
But can I trust myself to do the Security Check?
There are so many levels of encryption and security
that I’m no longer sure that I’m not an impostor, impersonating an impostor . . .
Maybe if I were capable of becoming a hacker,
I could hack my own brain,
actually just a rental unit, and steal my ontological password.