In order to increase connectedness nano-Apple-Watches must be developed for each of the mitochondria of every living cell, creating the inevitable Internet of Protoplasm and Smart Bodies. With the help of Elon Musk, von Neumann probes can be launched to endlessly distribute mitochondrial-level Apple Watches to whatever extraterrestrial life forms may exist in the Fermi Silence beyond Kansas. This will asymptotically increase dopamine from “Likes” in Hive Networks throughout spacetime. Eventually it will be feasible to transmit Reality-TV shows, especially the Apprentice and the Celebrity Apprentice, throughout the universe in time as well as space. These are the Reality-TV shows that certain scholars of Buddhism now believe Bodhidharma watched on a brilliantphone in solitude for nine years in a cave.